A MUM has revealed that she cheated on her partner with his best friend and now finds herself at a loss as to what to do next.
The woman, who has chosen to remain anonymous, has been in a relationship with her boyfriend for three years, and together they have a two-year-old daughter.
A mum has revealed how she cheated on her husband with his bestfriend[/caption]
However, after seeking advice from one of his friends, she found herself in a regrettable situation and ended up being unfaithful to her partner with his friend.
Taking to online forum Mumsnet, the woman wrote: “I know I deserve it, but I’m coming here just to be called a c**t.
“I suppose I’m just reaching out to anyone who might have been in a similar situation at some point.
“My boyfriend and I have a two-year-old daughter. We have a house (mortgage in his name), we’ve been together just over three years, and we share the same group of friends.
“I haven’t been happy or in love with my boyfriend for over a year. He’s a good person, a great dad, and my best friend, but I am not romantically in love with him. Our relationship happened way too fast.
“Rather than working through our problems or simply telling him I wasn’t happy, I turned to his friend of 14 years (who was also my friend of five years) for emotional support.
“One thing led to another, and I thought I had feelings for him.
“I never slept with him but kissed him on several occasions and would secretly talk to him behind my boyfriend’s back.
“The guilt has been eating away at me for months now, and last night I told my boyfriend the truth.
“He is obviously heartbroken but has said he wants to be with me, provided I make a big change so he can trust me again.
“I honestly don’t know if I want to be with him or not. I can’t believe what I’ve done to him and why he hasn’t gone completely mad (I assume for our daughter’s sake, maybe).
“I have nowhere to go if we were to break up, no family I could stay with, and I can’t bear the thought of my girl not seeing her dad as often as she does.
“I think I cheated because I was confused, and this lad showed me attention where my boyfriend didn’t. I’m weak and pathetic.
Our friends are hurt that we could do this to him, but to my surprise, they’ve all been very supportive
Anonymous mum
“I think we both just want what’s best for our daughter, but I don’t know what the best way to move forward is or what I want.”
The mum then went on to ask other Mumsnet users if they had been through something similar.
She continues: “I know how out of order I have been. Believe it or not, it’s completely out of character for me.
“Our friends are hurt that we could do this to him, but to my surprise, they’ve all been very supportive.”
Not a friend
The post attracted lots of attention with many people rushing to the comments section to share their thoughts.
One wrote: “You need to split. You aren’t happy. Carrying on when you don’t love him is cruel. In some way worse than what you did with his friend.
“You don’t love him and his friend is not a friend.
“You wouldn’t have done that if you did.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
“Staying together would be leading him on. You would need to ditch all the friends unless they decided to ditch his best friend.
“Of all the people you could have cheated with, you chose his best friend? Why did he have to be the one you turned to?”
Another added: “Just don’t drag it out for the poor bloke.
“If you want to be with him and he still offers that, go for it.
You admit that you’re not in love with him, and things moved too quickly
Anonymous mum
“But if you don’t, please don’t drag it out. I’ve been in that position and it’s cruel.”
A third said: “What you need to ask yourself is this: if you didn’t have your daughter, would you still be with your boyfriend?
“If the answer is no, then you have your answer. I wish I had done this when I had my dear son with my ex.
“I was desperate for it to work and tolerated things I wouldn’t normally have accepted because we had our son, and I thought I owed him a family unit.
“It doesn’t work. You admit that you’re not in love with him, and things moved too quickly.”
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