DEAR DEIDRE: A FORMER friend has been sending me malicious texts.
He won’t stop, even though I’ve asked him to several times – both directly and through a mutual acquaintance.
I’m a 31-year-old man. He is 35.
We became friends several years ago when we worked together but over time I found his behaviour disturbing, and distanced myself from him.
He would say nasty things about other colleagues, and he’d be very offensive about women.
I had to ghost him because he wouldn’t take the hint when I stopped responding to him. I blocked him.
Then he started sending texts from another number. He calls me vile racist names – I’m mixed race – and even insults my wife and family.
I know I shouldn’t respond but what he says is so hurtful that I sometimes can’t help replying. I’ve lost my rag a couple of times and been rude back.
Now he’s accused me of being abusive, saying if I contact the police, he’ll report me too.
It’s really stressing me out and I don’t know what to do.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Being harassed is incredibly stressful – which is exactly why he is doing it.
I know it’s tempting to reply to him, but please stop rising to his bait, and block him again.
If he contacts you via another number, block that too. Hopefully, he will get bored when you don’t react, and give up.
And if he doesn’t stop, you must go to the police. Keep screenshots of all his texts, with records of dates and times.
You can get more advice from the National Stalking Helpline (stalkinghelpline.org, tel: 0808 802 0300) and from Stop Hate (stophateuk.org, tel: 0113 293 5100) – a national organisation working to challenge hate crime.
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