DEAR DEIDRE: MY son really wants to meet his internet girlfriend but I’m scared to let him out of my sight.

He’s 16 and studying for his GCSEs. He’s hoping to go to college next year to study sports.

I never used to worry about him but last year he had his new iPhone snatched by a mugger on a moped.

Since then I’ve been a nervous wreck thinking he could have been stabbed or, worse, killed.

He changed after the mugging. He became more withdrawn and a lot of his school friends drifted away.

Now all he does apart from school is kick a football around on his own or play games on his computer. I’ve often thought he seems pretty depressed.

He has met this girl on an online gaming forum. She’s 16, too.

They seem to get on really well, talking and gaming every night. I can hear him laughing in his bedroom.

He really wants to meet her in person but she lives at the other end of the country.

Even though he’s a sensible lad, I’m terrified to let him travel that far by himself. Am I being overprotective?

DEIDRE SAYS:  You’re not being overprotective. You’re trying to keep your son safe.

I’m not surprised he seems withdrawn since he was mugged.

The teenage years are hard enough with exam stress and changing hormones.

Being attacked on top of all that must have been traumatising.

I understand why you’re worried about him travelling alone to meet a girl from the internet.

To put your mind at rest, could you ask your son to set up a FaceTime call so you and her parents can meet?

If that goes well, perhaps you could travel with your son when he goes to see her and stay in a nearby hotel.

It might be something for him to look forward to after his exams.

As your son is the sporty kind, he may be interested in a charity called sportinmind.org (0118 947 9762). It aims to transform the lives and mental health of children and adults through sport and physical activity.

This may be something he could get involved with later in the summer.

DEAR DEIDRE: REGRETFULLY, I cheated on a paternity test to save my relationship. But now I want to know if I’m a dad.

I’m 26. A few years ago, I had a brief relationship with a woman who I met at a party.

After that ended, I tried online dating and met my perfect woman.

She was sexy, bubbly and funny, and made it clear that she loved my lack of “emotional baggage”. She said she’d never date a man with kids.

Everything was great. We’d just got engaged when my ex got back in touch and dropped a bombshell: she’d had a baby boy nine months after we split.

She thought I was the father and wanted me to take a paternity test.

I panicked and got my best mate to do the cheek swab instead of me, so it wouldn’t be a match with the baby.

My plan was to keep it a secret but I ended up confessing all to my fiancee.

She was furious at first but then said I’d done the right thing. She told me to keep it a secret.

I can’t stop thinking about my son. My friends and family would be horrified if they found out what I’d done.

But if I do a second test and it reveals that I’m the dad, I’m worried my fiancee will leave me.

I don’t know what to do.

DEIDRE SAYS: You were so dazzled by your fiancee that you were willing to risk anything, even a possible relationship with your son, to keep her around.

But every child deserves two loving parents.

Your friends and family might be horrified to hear that you cheated on the first test.

But would that be worse than missing out on an entire lifetime with your child?

If you think you might be the father, explain to your fiancee that you’re actually not willing to shirk your responsibilities.

She might not want a man with children but that doesn’t mean you can both pretend that this one doesn’t exist.

Then contact your ex and ask to take a second test.

If you really are the dad, you can work with your ex to set up child maintenance and visitation.

If you’re not, then at least you’ll know for sure and you can finally stop wondering about it.

DEAR DEIDRE: WHENEVER I fall out with my boyfriend, he cuts off all contact until I apologise.

We’re both 20. It started just after we met.

We fell out over something stupid at college, and he ignored me for a week.

I thought he’d dumped me, but he messaged me again like nothing had happened.

Now he does it every time we disagree or I say something he doesn’t like.

My mum caught me crying about it, and she says it’s “stonewalling”.

Is it bad? Apart from this I’m really happy with our relationship.

DEIDRE SAYS:  Stone-walling is when someone refuses to talk.
Stonewalling partners tend to use different methods: changing the subject, evading your questions, going silent or storming off.

But they’re all just ways of controlling you.

We often think of stone-walling as harmless but, in fact, it’s a form of emotional abuse.

My pack Abusive Partner? will help you work out what to do next.

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