This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Abby Ooi, a therapist, graduate student, and former Singapore Airlines flight attendant. The following has been edited for length and clarity.
At 18, I moved from Malaysia to Singapore with $230 and a career plan.
I wanted to become a flight attendant — something I had fantasized about since I was young. My mom raised my two older brothers and me alone. Growing up, we couldn’t afford to travel, so I thought I would do it on my own one day.
After working in retail for three years — and in the middle of pursuing my bachelor’s degree in liberal arts — I landed a job with Singapore Airlines as a flight attendant at 22.
I was young, excited, and grateful that I had gotten the job. I thought that I had everything I wanted.
But a few months into my second year of working for Singapore Airlines, I started experiencing a lot of stress. I had to show up every day looking perfect and being nice to everyone, then return to an empty apartment and study for my bachelor’s degree. I couldn’t afford to take days off because I needed the salary.
I also found the industry expectations conflicting. There were strict rules to follow, and I couldn’t challenge myself to think critically. Flying also took a toll on my body.
I decided to start seeing a therapist, and it helped. A few months in, she asked if I had ever considered a career in therapy. She told me that I picked up on things quickly and had high awareness.
By then, I had gained my bachelor’s degree and had been working for a few years. I realized I had the capacity and resources to pursue what had become my second dream: becoming a therapist. My therapist’s words encouraged me to pursue this new career.
In my third year as a flight attendant, I completed a six-month graduate certificate course in counseling and made the decision to pursue a part-time master’s degree in counseling.
Balancing work and studies came with sacrifices
I spent around 60,000 Singapore dollars, or $45,500, on my master’s degree and graduate certificate from Monash University. Spending so much money while avoiding loans made me feel committed to seeing it through.
My degree was part-time, with around 12 hours of class each week. As a flight attendant, I had an average of 120 hours of flying a month. Our schedules were irregular and unpredictable. However, as classes were online, I found time to fit them into my schedule.
I won’t glamorize the life of working and studying. There were sacrifices I had to make.
This was an example of my daily schedule: I would touch down early in the morning in a new city and commute to the hotel. Feeling tired, I would set myself up at a desk and focus on schoolwork. After spending hours on that day’s assignment, the next thing I knew, it was time for bed. I would set an alarm for 5 a.m. to finish up. Then, it would be time to leave for the next flight.
I remember how badly I wanted to see the Statue of Liberty in New York City or visit Disneyland in California. However, because I had assignments due, I didn’t let myself get sidetracked by the temptation of going out with colleagues to see new things.
Sometimes, when I didn’t have an assignment due, I had the time to go out. But I knew that by going out with my colleagues, people would want to check out restaurants and then split bills accordingly. I knew I couldn’t afford that, so I went to libraries and museums and spent time alone. Because of this, my colleagues often assumed that I was antisocial.
At the time, I also avoided social media because I found it to be too big of a distraction. It often felt lonely, but I was always looking at the bigger picture. I thought, I don’t need social media right now, and I don’t need to go out with people because what’s bigger right now is my dream.
My days off were spent on internships
As part of my degree requirement, I had to complete 250 hours of professional experience through clinical placements. So, my days off were spent completing my three internships at clinics.
I completed my master’s degree in counseling from Monash University last year. After 6 years at Singapore Airlines, I left in February and moved to Sydney a week later.
Eager to continue studying, I had applied to the University of Sydney and was granted a scholarship. I’m now pursuing a second master’s degree in social work.
Looking back at my time as a flight attendant, I saw different aspects of humanity by traveling to different parts of the world. I saw drug addicts on the streets in San Francisco and starving kids in Mumbai’s slums.
It made me think, how can I help people? It helped confirm that I was planning for the right career switch.
These days, I post about my journey on social media and get messages from people asking how I studied while working.
This is what I tell them: The future is for yourself. Take advantage of the resources you have, and even if you don’t have a lot, you can multiply them with time and effort.
It definitely hasn’t been easy, but it was worth it.
A representative for Singapore Airlines did not respond to a request for comment from BI.
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