“Can you pretend to be a dirty little girl for me?” asked the man on the other side of the webcam.
I sighed. My adult cam service “agent”, who took 10% of my earnings, had told me that I would get more clients because I looked younger than when I was 26. I started to undress, but then I read my client’s next message.
“Pretending to be 14,” he wrote.
I refused and he immediately ended the call.
I made nothing of the conversation. The webcam platform I was using at the time, which took 40% of my revenue, largely failed to pay artists if clients hung up after less than a minute.
It was the first time I realized that I would potentially have to sacrifice my mental health to get by financially, but I felt I had no other choice.
It was 2020, I had my overdraft every month, and there was little to no prospect of a raise at my “normal” job anytime soon, especially because of the pandemic – I felt lucky to be employed at all.
Over time I realized the risks to my mental health were not worth the money – I still have flashbacks to some of the grim requests I received during my year or so as a cam girl.
That’s why I wish we didn’t live in a world there sex work online seems to be constantly promoted as a get-rich-quick scheme for especially young women.
The calls, for which I charged £2 a minute (this worked out to a pound after everyone took their cut), became more extreme.
Some men had a fetish for racial abuse, for example, and I declined.
One customer even asked me if I had any pets and if I would be willing to enter them into the show. The thought still makes me sick.
That’s why when I watched the documentary about OnlyFans creator Lily Phillips sleeps with 100 men in a dayit sent chills down my spine.
I can’t speak for Lily Phillips but I know from bitter personal experience that adult content creators have to do increasingly extreme stunts to make ends meet.
Free porn is everywhere on the internet, and it’s often only extreme acts that stand out when it comes to making big money, or any money at all.
My first foray into the world of adult content creation involved an attempt to sell my pants onlinebut I got absolutely nowhere. There was too much competition.
Although I didn’t know anyone else who did, I was initially inspired by posts on social media that promised I could make hundreds.
My next attempt, just before the pandemic, involved going on a live webcam.
Actors have little agency and content is often ripped to free porn video sites without your consent. I made less than £100 there.
But on another site, through an agent, I made £300 in my first week for a few hours work.
I’m dying to get out of my overdraft for good and save, me often appeared on webcam alone during the pandemic.
My performance routine always involved stripping slowly and avoiding being naked for as long as possible.
This often involved sucking on a toy and hitting myself. I just penetrated myself sometimes and kept my face out of the shot. When clients asked for anal, I pretended.
After a few months, my reluctance to engage in extreme activities meant that many customers lost interest. I went from earning £300 plus a week for a few hours work to around £100.
I was also tired of clients trying to push me into full-service sex work – that is, meeting and performing sex acts in real life – offering up to £1,000 a time. I had no interest in it.
A year after I started webcamming, I quit and got a better paying “normal” job as a writer.
This turned out to be a wise decision. This year, a friend, who knew I had done webcam, advised me to search my face with AI technology.
The average OnlyFans creator is estimated to earn less than £2,000 a year
Next to pictures from my social media was a grainy, scantily clad webcam stream on a paid porn site. Someone was potentially making money off of me without my consent. I was horrified. I contacted the site and thankfully the video is gone.
Sidojoll is now more of a talking point on social media, which is good, as it has opened many people’s eyes to other options such as pet sitting, but recent events have taught us that not much has changed when it comes to the misconception that only the big bucks can be made through online sex work.
That’s why I’m so worried.
We live in a world where employers pay so little, often to experienced staff, that they have to think about things like OnlyFans – and women like Lily Phillips keeps online sex work in the media, making people vulnerable to being drawn into this world like I was, where the risks massively outweigh the rewards.
But even if you are one of the lucky ones who can make a living, no amount of money is worth your mental health, and I wish I had talked to other creators before I even tried online sex work.
I certainly wouldn’t have streamed if I knew it could be easily shared – and I would have known the warning signs of creepy clients.
If you like sex and are sociable, this could be for you, and you can make money without having to resort to extreme measures like Lily Phillips, but keep your financial expectations realistic.
The average OnlyFans creator estimated to earn less than £2,000 a year.
Looking back, I wish I had gone into online sex work with my eyes wide open.
But more importantly, I wish more people knew that many women are drawn to this world not because they are obsessed with sex, fame or wealth but because they are simply trying to get by.
So be careful, be realistic and be safe.
Or simply consider another sidebar.
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