I was so happy to reconnect with my first love, but now she’s ghosted me

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER more than 20 years since we separated, I was so happy when I reconnected with my first love. 

In my mind, she was always the one that got away, so it felt like a dream having her back in my life. 

Yet now, after months of rebuilding our connection, I fear I’ve ruined our second chance, and she’ll never talk to me again.

I’m 54, she’s 49, and we were together for five years before we broke up.

Even when we both got married and had kids, a part of me always found myself wondering what could have been.

I couldn’t believe my luck when we bumped into each other in the supermarket three months ago. 

It was as if no time had passed at all.

Since then we’ve spent almost every day texting and chatting over the phone, and we’ve grown close.

I was so chuffed to have her back in my life, even if it was only over the phone. 

Then everything went wrong when she ignored me for over a week, and I made the mistake of telling her how much that hurt. 

I expected her to apologise and that we’d move on, instead she blasted me saying our friendship had been a mistake and blocked me. 

Now I’m feeling so confused. What did I do so wrong?

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

INTIMACY ISSUES

Never mind sex, I can’t even get a hug from my husband

DEIDRE’S STORIES

Louise can’t help herself from going back to Pete

DEIDRE SAYS: As hard as it may be, it’s best that you accept what has happened and try to move on. 

While it can be hard to find closure in the ambiguity, try to take this as a blessing in disguise.

Ultimately, you’re both married and have your own families to think about, so nothing can happen between you in any case.

While it’s understandable you were enjoying your friendship and the feeling of nostalgia, it would be better for you to put your energies into your own relationship and leave the past in the past. 

I’m sending you my support pack, Mend Your Broken Heart, to help you navigate these feelings.