Maria writes: My 15-year-old daughter, Arina, would like an injunction against my use of Gen Alpha slang, such as “Ohio L rizz Skibidi toilet.” She says that hearing me use words like this is “physically painful.” But it makes me feel young and current.
I’m not sure your cringe behavior could possibly compare with that of a badly bearded 53-year-old man named “John Hodgman” sitting in a Park Slope coffee shop watching “Skibidi toilet” videos. (Never mind looking up what “Ohio rizz” means on Forbes.com of all places. And no: I’m not going to explain it. Do your own homework for once.) Anyway, I guarantee that you will be a source of embarrassment to your teenager without ever speaking a single word. There’s no need to be extra, as the old folks say. Keep your new (and now surely outdated) slang among your fellow parent-friend group chats where it belongs. And if that whippersnapper gives you any more guff, remind her that, at age 15, she’s also quite old: a geriatric Gen Alphan at best.
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