Christmas is only 49 days away (November 6). Although temperatures are still quite warm and we’ve only just put away the Halloween decorations, the battle for the festive TV adverts began this week as Greggs rolled out none other than Nigella Lawson, M&S paired up with Dawn French for another year of Christmas comedy , and Waitrose even hired a cinema to premiere their ad (we’ll have to wait a little longer for John Lewis).
If all of this has you feeling stressed about decorating the halls so soon, you’re not alone. Almost a a third of Britons claim that their mental health takes a “dive” over Christmas, due to pressures including money and keeping others happy. The research, published in 2021, found that four in ten (41 per cent) said they felt pressure to make the period extra special. Perhaps not surprisingly, say women they feel more stressed than men (33 percent versus 20 percent).
Not to mention the cost of living crisis makes the financial implications of celebrating feel suffocating – one record 6.7 million people in the UK are struggling financially, according to statistics from March, with 13 percent of adults missing a credit card payment in the past six months.
Given this, it is possible to get ahead Christmas panic? Could it be different this year? Or are we doomed to repeat the same mistakes? We asked the experts what we should do now – rather than burying our heads in the metaphorical sand for another six weeks.
Say no to a few trips to the pub
When we think of the Christmas period, the 25th of December may be looming as the height of panic, but what we often overlook is the huge commitment that the weeks leading up to require; hang out, spend money; and run on less sleep than is ideal.
Sophie Cliff, a positive psychology practitioner and author of Choose joy, says: “We can forget that Christmas comes when most of us have less energy than usual and feel pressured to say yes to every social engagement that comes our way, leaving many of us burnt out before the big day rolls around around.
“Take some downtime before your journal fills up. Block out time in your calendar to recharge, and you’ll find yourself feeling more present for what’s important,” she says. This also means figuring out what is that “adds value” to your Christmas What makes it magical and what can you leave?
Book your supermarket place
If you want to avoid shopping-related drama, you know that early booking is crucial but getting them can be more difficult than Glastonbury tickets (on Tuesday morning, Tesco customers faced a 60-minute wait on the website when trying to book… ) And Waitrose told Money Saving Expert that 90 per cent of their slots for December 23 are already full.
So which ones are now open for booking? Consumer expert Which one? says that in terms of major supermarkets, Asda, Morrisons, Sainsburys, Ocado and Waitrose have all opened to customers. For Tesco customers, those with click-and-collect passes can book from 5 November and everyone else opens on 12 November. And if you’re an Ocado Smart Pass member, you can get free delivery if you sign up before November 30.
Remember to check if you can edit your order until the last day.
Get your cards set up
Some traditions are worth keeping – and that includes sending Christmas cards. This year, says Royal Mail that the last post date is Wednesday 18 November for second class stamps and Friday 20 December for first class stamps. Special Delivery runs until Monday 23rd November, but DPD Next Day Delivery says it can be delivered to most postcodes on time if posted by Thursday 21st December. EVRi says default tracking is December 20th at noon or Sunday 21st same time for next day tracking.
Book train tickets
Train companies release their advance fares around 11-12 weeks before the date of travel – so sooner rather than later is a good idea as that time has already passed. As? says that if you want a round-trip ticket it found off-peak and off-peak fares can be cheaper than two advanced one-way tickets. “Compare prices, and if the advance singles work out cheaper, book immediately as the price of these will only increase.”
Make a Christmas pudding
If you’re going for homemade (no judgment for buying an M&S pudding!) then you’ll need a good six week lead time before Christmas. The classic “Stir Up Sunday”, the day on which the pudding is traditionally made, is the last Sunday before Advent. In 2024, it will be November 24.
Select a current limit
Before people get serious about their gift shopping is also a good time to set boundaries that can help keep spending down – rather than just thinking about it two weeks before when many have already signed money and it’s too late.
Catherine Morgana financial advisor who specializes in women’s finances, says you should consider implementing a “four-gift rule” for families: something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read.
“This not only helps manage expenses but actually reduces the mental strain of gift giving,” she says. (Mental load as disproportionate falls on women in the equation). Or consider a ‘secret Santa arrangement’, where you only buy a gift for one person in your family – everyone is allocated to one person – again this can only happen if you talk about it early.
It’s also worth asking why you’re spending beyond your means. “The pressure to create a ‘perfect’ Christmas often triggers emotional or ‘guilt spending’, where money decisions are driven by feelings of guilt, nostalgia or social comparison rather than what we can actually afford within our budgets,” says Morgan. “Parents are particularly vulnerable to overspending during the Christmas holidays, with many still paying off Christmas debt well into the new year.”
Buy experiences instead
Cliff says it can be good to focus on having experiences rather than accumulating more stuff (every parent knows they don’t need more plastic). “Research shows that experiences have a greater and longer-lasting impact on our happiness than material objects – take this into account when deciding how to budget this Christmas.”
And if you’re in the mood to buy presents – consider buying second-hand, buying from charity shops or apps like Vinted. “There are some great bargains in the shops at the moment, and many things like bottles of drink and snacks will easily hold until Christmassays BACP therapist Katie Rose.
“This also allows you to spread the cost, rather than blowing the entire budget at once.” She also suggests “creating small, personal touches that people will really appreciate.”
If you’re buying goods for people, it’s worth remembering that Black Friday – and the opportunity for discounted goods – falls on 29 November 2024.
Set a budget – and stick to it
Between now and Christmas, most people with a monthly salary have received at most two more paydays to distribute the Christmas expenses. This may seem daunting, but it gives you more options than waiting until December. Morgan says the best way to get started is to create a separate pot (digital or physical) and delineate cash from each paycheck.
It can feel easier to live in the moment, spend yourself in a black hole in the pre-Christmas rush and deal with it in the new year. Philip Karahassan, a therapist who runs Therapy In London, says it’s (obviously) a recipe for disaster in January. Not to mention, he says, many families are already stretched thin after heading out for the summer holidays and half term.
So use it as an opportune moment to talk about what you can really can afford to spend – and it may be less than last year. “Get on the same page as your partner, your kids, your family – set expectations, rather than them asking for a Playstation you’ll never be able to afford,” he says. “What do we want for Christmas?”
Make an effort to communicate this with your extended family as well.
Tell Uncle Colin not to talk about Brexit
And if what hangs over you actually isn’t about moneyor gifts, but other people’s pain, then you don’t have to wait until Christmas Day to change things either.
Ammanda Major, director of clinical practice at Relate, the relationship charity, says: “It’s about realizing what has gone well in the past and what hasn’t worked so well. For example, if there are topics that keep coming up (your uncle’s divorce, politics) make it clear that it would be better for everyone if they were avoided. “Shall we agree not to bring it up?” You can do all that in advance, she says. “Sometimes it can feel incredibly difficult to set boundaries, but by saying ‘that really wasn’t good, was it,’ you can change,” she explains. “Obviously the best laid plans go awol when alcohol is involved so maybe talk about that too.”
Major says we often fall into old roles in families (adult kids going back to teenagers) and by acknowledging that upfront we can all try to do better. “Take courage and ask to do things differently,” she says.
