A woman with severe food allergies is in a cold state after her in-laws refuse to cook food for her to eat. Now, as a result, she has to sit out family gatherings.
In a post shared to Redditthe woman’s husband writes that his wife is allergic to shellfish, peanuts, celery and soy.
“She’s used to people not being willing to accommodate her OR being lazy about it and thinking they can cook with one of these things in it and just not put it on her plate,” he writes. “So she normally brings some food if people seem unsure of what to do.”
And that’s exactly what she did when the man’s mother hosted a family gathering and brought her own food because they thought there wouldn’t be safe food available for her.
“But when we got there, mom was offended that she had brought food. We explained why and mom said that in future she would only make food that my wife could eat,” he adds.
At subsequent family gatherings, the woman did not bring her own food — but one day, after the man’s mother “wasn’t careful with food safety preparations,” she was served something cross-contaminated with shellfish.
After she had an allergic reaction, the man’s mother said she felt sick and apologized.
“But then after that dinner she decided it was too much trouble to make a completely different meal for my wife and then she started making a meal again but it was a meal my wife couldn’t eat,” he adds.
The situation eventually led to the man having a discussion with the extended family, where his mother said “it was unfair” that she was expected to cook multiple meals to accommodate his wife.
“So I told them it was the best thing about my wife and I just didn’t join them at these dinners,” he writes.
His family “didn’t like this decision” and now he is facing criticism.
“I told them my wife’s health and safety comes first and since she can’t win and she doesn’t risk another allergic reaction eating there, and it wouldn’t be fair to let her sit and watch us eat, then it’s not going our only option remains,” he writes.
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As the man added in the comments, his mother thinks it’s rude to bring your own meal to other people’s dinner parties or family dinners. But she’s not getting food that she can safely eat so the only other option would be for her not to eat.”
Reddit commenters have weighed in, with one writing: “What does your mother expect your wife to do? Sit there and watch everyone else eat?”
Added another: “There are thousands, maybe millions, of dishes that don’t contain shellfish or soy. If your mom wanted to, she could easily accommodate your wife’s allergies.”
