Some time ago, my mother and I went to have our weekly lunch at a New York restaurant. The restaurant allowed dogs, and a woman walked in with two dogs on leashes and sat down. One of the dogs sniffed my coat and got a mucous stain on it. Both were whimpering and whining and restless, moving around under our table. They both smelled. She then asked the waiter to serve her dogs water, so this old waiter had to bend down to the ground and place a container there for them; the dogs noisily slurped the water. Later my mother joked that she should walk up to their table panting and barking and coming inches from their legs under their table to give them a sense of how we felt.
I once had a dog trample on my picnic and put its nose in my food, and the owners just said, ‘‘Don’t worry, she’s friendly.’’ ‘‘We’re not!’’ I replied. I know people love their dogs and can’t imagine why anyone else wouldn’t, but isn’t there an ethical responsibility when you are in public to respect people’s private space? — Name Withheld, New York
From the Ethicist:
I agree that the dog owner behaved poorly here. But so did the restaurant. Presumably you were dining indoors, where New York City’s health code forbids animals unless they’re trained service animals, not to be confused with emotional-support animals. (In outdoor dining areas, where dogs aren’t forbidden, a sign is supposed to be posted that states, among other things, ‘‘You are responsible for controlling your dog at all times.’’) On what would seem the safe assumption that these weren’t service animals, the restaurant was in violation of the law. Some restaurants turn a blind eye toward pooches, admittedly. All the same, you might have reminded the manager of the health code.
I’m not going to weigh in on the wisdom of that code. I will say that even in a place like Paris, where dining establishments generally permit dogs, there are definite social norms about regulating their conduct; they’re basically meant to stay under your table, and if you let them make a nuisance of themselves, you can find yourself moved to that table à côté des toilettes. Which points to another way that this restaurant let you down: If it was going to allow a violation of the health code, it shouldn’t have compounded the problem by allowing a violation of basic social etiquette. The manager should, at the very least, have found a polite way to tell this patron to control her furry companions. So again, you would have been within your rights to complain to the manager. Of course, you would also have been within your rights to dine elsewhere. There are maybe 25,000 places to eat in New York, and at most of them you won’t be troubled by an inconsiderate dog owner.
Readers Respond
The previous question was from a young man with a tough decision to make. He wrote: “I think about the people I knew who used illicit substances (primarily cocaine) and wonder about the harm done by drug dealers. I’ve never used any drugs but being friends with some users, I know where their dealer lives. I never met him, but I heard a lot of things about him. Some of these were wholesome: He has a young kid, a nice girlfriend, enjoys cutting hair. Some not so wholesome: He has large quantities of cocaine in his house and uses his work as a front. I’m considering whether I should report him to the police. I’m not wondering about whether informing the police about him would lead to prison (it would) or whether cocaine is bad, but whether making that call outweighs the detriment to his child who, seemingly in his custody, might end up in foster care. Should I inform the police?”
In his response, the Ethicist noted: “The difficult balancing of considerations you face mirrors the balancing act that we face as a society. Just as some lives are blighted by drugs, other lives are blighted by the zealous enforcement of drug statutes. Before you go above and beyond in support of law enforcement, then, you’ll want to consider whether the penalties visited on this person will be proportionate. The alternative isn’t to do nothing: If you’re concerned about the scourge of drugs, you could get involved in one of the groups that specialize in recovery and support for the people they harm.” (Reread the full question and answer here.)
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In the same situation, I did turn in my brother’s drug dealer. Dealers may have families but they don’t care if the product they sell leaves people dying in the street. One person calling the police means little, as any of us could just be exacting revenge of some kind on an innocent person, but multiple calls will likely lead to an investigation. — Staci
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Turning in a dealer in is like Whac-a-Mole; another dealer will just pop up. I agree with the Ethicist’s suggestion that it might be better to help those affected by drugs in a different way. Another idea might be to anonymously inform the dealer that he has been exposed and to suggest that he think about this choice for his child’s sake. — Joanne
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I also think a consideration should be the well-being of the child if the letter writer doesn’t report this. With “large quantities” of cocaine in the house, a young child who accidentally ingests cocaine could easily suffer neurological impairment, seizures or even death. In addition, the presence of the drugs in the house presents a danger in the form of potential violence: What if an addict needs a fix but can’t pay and decides to rob the dealer? Or a rival drug dealer targets his stash? Or the police raid the home without knowledge of the child’s presence? Though I certainly have compassion for those addicted and the struggles they face, in this situation, it seems that the well-being of an innocent child outweighs all other considerations. — Brigid
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I completely agree with the Ethicist. The War on Drugs has been a scourge on this country, not to mention a resounding failure. Perhaps we should examine the system in which some people feel compelled to break the law in order to support their families while others feel compelled to habitually escape reality through the use of narcotics. If this dealer gets locked up, those college students will get their cocaine from someone else. Rather than ruin the lives of an entire family, the letter writer should examine his perceived moral superiority and stop meddling in the affairs of others, especially now that he lives “far away” and has no stake in this matter. — Zach
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Speaking as a recovering addict, if one of my suppliers fell to law enforcement, I always had four or five other sources to go to; reporting a drug dealer to the police certainly does nothing to “help” users stop using. And the consequences of reporting someone are vast and unintended. At one point in my active addiction, I lived with a drug dealer who was arrested and went to prison. That event propelled me into homelessness for several years. — Stephen
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